A commitment ring. New idea or return to innocence?

Long before a diamond engagement ring became a centrepiece of the proposal, there was a promise of return.

Before the diamonds and the marketing campaigns, there was simply a ring given between two people without a ceremony or pressure, neither date in a diary. Just the certainty that what they had was real and worth keeping. Medieval knights gave rings to their ladies before riding off to war as a promise of devotion and return.

The Victorians engraved theirs with poetry. The Renaissance lovers exchanged gimmel rings, two interlocking bands worn separately during courtship and reunited at marriage.

So the commitment ring is not a modern invention. It is one of the oldest gestures in the history of jewellery. What is new is that we are finally permitting ourselves to choose it on our own terms. The steps towards marriage are less prescribed than they once were, less bound by age, expectation or social calendar, and the commitment ring fits naturally into that space. Relationships are less rushed towards marriage. The pressure to follow a specific timeline has loosened, and the modern-day commitment ring belongs to that world.

Back in the late 1930s, De Beers, who specialised in diamond mining and retail, introduced a campaign that put financial pressure on engagement ring purchases and established diamonds as the expected stone. They introduced the one month salary rule, which over decades crept to two months in the US and three months in Japan.

Before that campaign, there was no standard of etiquette that a diamond should cost two months' salary. De Beers introduced the concept, which stuck for decades. It was not a tradition but marketing that became “tradition”. A commitment ring exists entirely outside of it, and this is precisely part of its appeal.

A commitment ring need not be of significant value, but it marks a sentimental milestone and a genuine investment in the relationship. Which means the budget goes towards something beautiful, personally meaningful and well made, rather than something that simply meets an expectation.